My Testimony Speech- Baptism

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My testimony speech for my baptism
Date: 4-4-2010
Place: Holland
_{This testimony is translated from Dutch.. so there can be few mistakes so.. don't mention it}

Today I am so glad that I can be here to stand to for you to testify that I am so grateful that I am saved by the only God the Father of our dear Lord Jesus Christ. I can tell you that a year ago was quite different. I come from a awful past with unreal faith in God that I saw in someone, but I don't blame that person anymore. I was so into the power of a father figure who did horrible things to me. I did so well away from Jesus because I thought: 'If this is love... well I won't want it anymore!"  I lost all confidence in the people and in faith. When my parents got divorced it broke my heart even in more pieces.  I ended up in a deep valley full of darkness. Yet there came a miracle because my mother went back to marry now a very sweet man, who sits here and who I really consider as a father, and I love my parents so very much! But when I started living on my own I went independent  life and did things which God horrified. I fell into a deep depression because all of the memories of my childhood came up and would no longer live. I even attempted to finish it but it didn't succeed. Now I know how it happened and I am only grateful for, so I went to live independently again. I was pleasant and did very often obscure things that I felt supposedly cheered up again. Until last year March the fire in my house came, and nearly killed me! But God made me really wake up, literally and figuratively when it was still safe and still on time!  God had saved me from the death and had been noticing me that He really wanted me back. But I was too blind. Yet I was grateful that I was alive and my mother said that God hunted the devil in my house, to get out with the flames of His eternally Love. But the devil still lived in my heart full of darkness...
After few months I got a struggle with an infection in my jaw. Out of necessity, I prayed to God for the first time, one time only that severe pain that made me so mad to go away, so I could sleep again because I was so terribly tired. God answered my prayers! Then it began to dawn on me that I adored my other god but that god was not helping me  only DEEP INTO destruction! God the Father longed to help me to get away FROM the destruction! So I struggled with this thoughts for few months and suddenly I got the desire to think about Jesus from my childhood who I so loved and He felt so familiar... Then again that desire began to burn and I went looking for answers. Why I get these thoughts and they won't get out of my mind! Then I talked with my parents about these thoughts. They were just so happy that I was longing to Jesus and confessed that I really wanted to return to Him and no longer wanted to live in the darkness but in the Light! And once I asked if I could to  church and the beautiful occasion was with Christmas. I was soo glad that I did that! I felt right at that place so ease and the restless feeling in my heart was that day gone, I felt peace and there the hunger grow... I wanted more! Meanwhile I had ordered a cd from Reni&Elisa(dutch singers) and I heard at one point the song"Restore my First Love". It touched me so deeply and spoke partly my story. Then I went searching on the internet and got to a site to get return to God.... And I saw the prayer to be a child of God again. I had to cry so much and was so upset by everything from the past I confessed to God... and then I cried to Jesus that I really really really long for Him and wanted to return in His Arms! God heard it even though I could not get out of my words. Then I felt that I had to look outside and the miracle had happened: it was snowing, very hard! The whole place went white and so beautifully! I got a feeling and it was directly from God: He washes our sins whiter than snow with the blood from Jesus! And it seemed that the black cloth was torn from me and suddenly that dark and troubled feeling was GONE... GONE FOREVER! I was back in the Light and was so happy and felt so relieved! And so I felt the intense love of God and He let me know that I am home, safe in His Arms! And I realized that God loved me even when I was so deep in the darkness, but God has pulled back to Himself with His unconditional Love!
I love Jesus so much that is sometimes indescribable of what I feel! And after I was reborn few days later I was healed from my back-pains where I had been suffering for 3 years long! My life has changed so totally now! I've lost a lot but I have so many things back and it's so a hundred times better! Despite the struggle I have now with the dentist and pain in my mouth, I go through! Because the most important thing I've rediscovered and that is Jesus in my life. He has died for you and my sins to give us so brandnew life and show how much He loves us!
And with this baptism I want to show that I say goodbye to my old life and want to walk with Jesus hand in hand in my new life and I would fight for Him until it's time to definitely go home with Him for eternity!

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